iM pOuRiNG OUt My HeaRt..

yahooo

2007-05-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

yahooo!!! finally...

i went on an official date with BABY!!!!]

WOHUHU...

BABY tanks for toda.e.

i had a blast!!

i love u syg..
muaxxxx......

nurul=)

argh..

2007-04-22T16:47:00.000+08:00

its been a week since i last toked to baby..
its killing me for sure..
dam sure..
im feel so empty..
i feel so lost..
haiz..
baby plese no matter how bz u are..
make time to call me..
u make time to meet ure frnds n catch up with them..
wen i call u ure with them n u tell me i called at the wrng time..
u noe hw tat feels?
tats so sad yang..

i have curfew at 10..
u owaes come home late nowadeas..
u didnt evn call me before 10..
here i am waiting like mad to hear ure voice..
all goes down to nothing..
its been a week since i communicate with me..

it kille me alot..
im dying inside aiez..
plese do spare some time for me..
dun only concentrate on werking..
n making money..
i noe u meant well..
i hapie for tat but plese..
u still have a gf tat is breathing..
VERY MUCH ALIVE..
heart is still beating waiitng for u to tok to her..
n ask her how was her dae..

baby,i miss my bf..bring me bek my bf..

nurul='(

=)

2007-04-13T19:58:00.000+08:00

its been awhile..i noe..

baby n i decided to settle down..
not as in marriage..
as in we get engaged..

i mean we do love each other..
im changing fr his sake..
n he saes im doing a good job..
tanks yeah?*winks*

baby talked to his siblings already..so now its my turn to tok to sumone..
told kak ella..
but not mama or who ever..
not evn dada..
gosh man..
i mean dada sae its too young..

wat our plan was..
we get engaged before he goes ns..but we tie it for 4 yrs like tat...
hopefully nothings goes wrng..
2 yrs to finish ns..2 yrs to werk..n get money..

well help each other out..
but argh...
dunnoe...
i wan it to happen...

but im sked of my family objecting to it..
i mean baby is my age..
werking but not a grand job..
hes stating to save up slowly..
cause he just finished skoll like me...
well...

haiz...
kuzin saes just go for it..
being engaged doesnt mean tat ure getting married..
its just a wae of telling me..

hey im his n his mind...
so tat wen we go out together makcik2 wun ckp stupid tings..

at least were bethrothed to one another..
how does tat sound?
convincing enuf to tell my mum..?

i dun tink soo..

haiz...
go to tink again n again...

FINALLY PUTIING MY DEVASTATING PAST BEHIND ME..
N TO TAT SUMONE..
its time for me to move on with life n love sumone fully..tanks for all the memories tat we had..

but i love my baby alot..
n baby..i love u..
cant wait to have..=nurul shanty estilliyana n muhd shanfiz idzhul
in our lifes..
=)

nurul=)

fuck u amira!!

2007-04-03T16:40:00.000+08:00

u told me to trust u..
i did..
ten i get tis shit?
wat the fuck baby..

y does she has to keep apprearing in our lifes?
y b?
we almost broke up bcause of her..
now tis again?

u told me u guys were just frnds?
wat more she wans from u?

fuck aiez i hate her...
stop doing tis iz..
y does she keep apearing?
she has a bf..
she still looks fr u..
she wans u stil..

i mean seriusly..
wat the fuck is her bloody prob man..

aiez..im giving u a chnce now..
dun fool wit me..
dun fool with my heart..

u gave a chnce so we wud not break up..
more
like im giving it to u now..

plese i beg u baby..
stop contcting her..
stop all ure nonsense with her..
plese..

N TO AMIRA I FU WERE TO READ TIS!!
FUCK U BITCH..U DAMM BLOODY HORE..
I HATE U TO THE CORE..
SATU MATAIR U JAGE DULU..
NAK KEJAR MATAIR ORANG..
SIAL KAU POMPAN KAU LAGIK SATU KALI TAU..
JGN KASI AKU CARIK KAU..
NAHAS TAU SIAL NYE BETINE...
MARK MY WERDS U CHEAP BITCH...

I HATE U LIKE FUCK!!
AKU SUMPAH..SUPAYE KAU TAK DPT KEBAHAGIAN KAU!!
I SWEAR MIRA I SWEAR!!!!
U SUCK BIG TIME!!!

over

2007-03-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

i tink the game is over..
he gave me bek the ring..
told me to take care..
i felt guilty wen i missed tat somone..
forced my self to tink of u n how u loved me
n wen im proud to have u baby..
u brot down my werl..like a whirlpool..
its hurts..
venue:blk 233..5th storey staircase
time: 927pm
date:11 march 2007
re: THE END..
last werds:take cre..ure a nice gf..

the werl is spinning now..im hurt..m i draming?someone slap me..='(

gerek

2007-03-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

my sempang bedok treat while watching soccer..=)

my sinful meal..god i put on kilos...

my dear elf n me..=)

my super huge mermaid freeze..it froze my brains..

caught them toking...

i see fish people..>---";

my new addiction..calamaris..

at sempang bedok..my ice choc..

like model kan?i noe..hahaha

powerlah u people..

2007-03-02T17:48:00.000+08:00

went bek to skoll yesterdae..so powerlah..took class photo..n played some games..had to go off half off cause went to tan tock seng hosp..to visit mother-in-law..

poor her..haiz..saddening..renal failure..going for dialysis..baby is worried now about his urine cek up..baby have faith..all tis a re tests from god..ill be there for u..k?

pomise..

smile lah yang..anti i majok baru u tau eh..

miss my peeps soo much...haiz.. well heres some pics we took...

all my beautiful poeple..

amoi!!my face!!

hunks of my class..

i wunder if baby wan me if i was like this?hahaha=)

shit happnes?

2007-02-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

GOD MAN!!
u dun fucking tell me u have shit..people do have shit sial..
i do have my shits too..
fuck lah u..

i noe i use to love u but not animore..
uve changed soo much..
im sad a man i use to love is snffing glue just because he has super big shits..n tinks tat its cool wen he gets high?

hello??

wake up dude..
ure looks n smile all the same but the att n beh??
ure the shitter..
u hit at ure own self..

shit u man...
im not ure mum im not ure gf..
i have no authority to stop u from watever fucking shit u wanna do!

so just do watver shit u wanna shit on..

dun tell me this..dun tell me tat..
plese i dun wanan hear...

get it?mr. i tink im cool...

nurul=)

damm sial!!

2007-02-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

fuck lah..u told u i got the interview..dad was hapie fr me..n u had to spoil my mood by saying im not serious for it.. n tat i dun usualy concentrate on my studies..i wud rather focis on my love life?

sial ah..ten watever for i study so hard to achive an a ion my result?u dun tink i dun have the heart to go far?huh?
im jeles my kuzins are clever n are in uni n poly!while im stcuk in this fucking ite!!
i tink im not ashame..?
i noe u have always been ashame cause tis daughter of ures is a failure!!

tats y u always sae to adek
"blaja rajen2 kalo nakn pegi jauh!!"

u tink im not upset?
i got a dream too..
to be succesfull..
well to bad i took the longer route..
so wat?
i still get to be a nurse!!!

nvr mind an enrolled nurse witha cert only..
no diploma..

i dun care abot thos bloody fucking dips...

i wan to go to u like my kzuin..
u sae i spent time watching tv n toking on the phone with faris..

ten u tink at home i shake leg..

u onie sae the tings u see in front of u ..
u sae i dun study..
cause u nvr see me study at home before..
ten have u seen me at school?
where my breaks are focused on studies?
i stayed bek after skoll just to study n ask teachers bot th topics..
im slow in class..but i try damm hard..
2 yrs to get an A..its worth it..
im proud of my self..

all i asked was fr a bllody 25 dollars to pay my scholl stufss..
n u said i owaes ask money..
if i got the fucking money i wun ask from u..

u sae belom bergaji dah sombong..wat more wen i get money..lagik sombong taik..
im not tat cruel..
i nvr ask u money..evn wen i go out i rty to save my own..i dun ask u for visa cardsw or credit crads..

all i ask is 10 dolars wen i wan to go out!!
n tat can only support me buying food n sweets,.,..

u tink i like?asking u money..if i had the money i wuen be asking from u..
cause i noe its hard for our fam..

we're abit tit now..
i want to contribute..i want!!!!
i just dun have the money!!!!!!

i just wish i cud be like kak ella hakim or abng didi..be it hamka or eva who gets good results for exams..even kak ella does nt owaes get excellent results..shes in the u...

wat am i?
only a fucking ite cert holder!!!

nurul=(

damm tis fucking werl!!fuck my life!!!

somtimes..

2007-02-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just wonder wats the meaning behind the real I LOVE U..
ive been saying it to baby..
i mean it ..or dun i?

i do love him..
hes brot joy n laughters to my life..

but sumtimes wen we quarell the werd i love u seem to disappear..=(
y?
i dun nnoe..
the love is conroledd n ivaded by hatred..

gosh!! im so selfish n iritating..
im just soo foolish..

i wud want his attention at the wrng time n tat will make him pissed of..
n tat'll piss me off too..

so much so we;ll quarell like normal ..

arguing n shouting at each other has been our daily routine i guess for the 1 yr n 4 mths with him..

somtimes he wishes tat i wud just be as loving as an angel..
i do wish too sumtimes i dun get to worked put or jeles over stupid stuffs..

i guess im controlling his life..
alot..
soory abby..
mind was controlled too much before hand,...
i noe i may seem selfish cause im making him pay for wat ive went through..

im just super cautious now..
i dunnoe y..
im scared of it too..
its getting onto baby's nerves..

his being super patience with me..thanks alot..
i do love u..
tanks for loving me..

i realy need to search high n low wats true love n unconditionally love is..
turely..
i feel like ive not loved him enuf..

i terribly sorry..

shine on me god..
shine n shine shine on me..

i pray for ure enlightentment...

nurul=)

yahoo

2007-02-23T18:55:00.000+08:00

u guys noe wat..im super hapie..no more sats...!! finally end of the week cant wait to finish up my atchment..hahah..can huray2.. so hapie..

waiting for the rit time to love n be loved again..

i miss him..=)

so bored at home..

do housewerk ten okie..

haiz..wen ure bored..tis is wat u have to do..learn from me okie?=)

pose!!n take stupid pics of ureself!!hahaha...

mondae n tuesdae..

2007-02-20T19:08:00.000+08:00

MONDAY

went out dating with baby..went to watch epic movie..initially wanted to watch the matrimony but no have..so we went to ps to watch epic movie..seriusly stupid lah the movie but damm funnie oso lah..hahaha..its benn ages since we watch movies together..

baby wanted to met his frnds at city hal..i got fed-up..so i sulk all the wae..he got angry..i nvr talked at al..just kept quite..mls like tat..

then we quarelled..like hell..i cry he cry..we both shed tears..ten he just lie there at the side..closing his eyes..not resp[onding to any of my cries..got so sked n angry..i cried n cried to wake him up..i shouted"u kalo tak bangun i jln"ten he open up his eyes..he said" u jalan..i tak halang u.."got we debated like hell..he push me away asking me to go..n leave him alone..i cry n cry n begged him like mad..

he stod up..took out our ring n gave it to me.."u kalo tak nak jln biar i yang jln..u jage diri'

he wanted to leave me alone in the nit..he wanted to break up!!fuck sia i tell u..i begged him like i nvr begged anione before bot evn to my mum who is more superior then him..i just hugged him titly nvr let go...

god tat was skery...

but now hapie laio!!stating a fresh n be a good gf..hopefully!!*cross fingers*=)

baby n me..=)

tuesday

went out early in the morning to arb street wit my two aunts..they bot so much kain..hahaha..they bot so manie linens..make tis n tat..one ting about my famm we love lnen material..it runs in the genes people..hahaha..tne went to mother's shop..bot songekt..white fr frst dae raye(i noe too early..puase belom)hahaha..ten purple same as baby..buying baby kain to make baju kurong to..tis year raye with abby is lit purple..so cute i noe..hahah..

went on to town to buy my prom dress..

walau..so the okie lah..soo manie dresses to choose from but super mahal..sianz man,..hahaha..finally went o robinsons..n saw one..a blek one..so simple but i love it..yipe!!!! but now wat shoes eh?haiyo..another headache..=)hahah

tats the dress..bek view secrett..cannt reveal to much..=)

nurul=)

=( & =)

2007-02-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

the best daes..n the not so good daes...

ahahahaha...

saturdae?was dreadful..werked the last sat!!yeah hoo..finnally finish paying up liao..so hapie..wen to mok home after tat..as usual..she nags n complains..all we had to do was just kept quite n listen..old people are like tat...been werking with elderly so i very much noe their behaviour..=)dun argue..just listen n knot ure head..they'll be hapie..more than hapie..

at nit quarelled with baby as usual..haiz..canoot tahan with my attitude he sae..ok dun blame him..i noe..=(sunday went to WILD WILD WET!! hell yeah it was damm bloody fun lor..

after so long with allmy small devils..n big ones oso(ehem)...we swm n tat n this n tat..it was so exciting..had a very enjoyable trip..i took the ularlah...my heart palpitate like mad!! wanna come out liao..hell no..but FUN NAK MAMPOS!!

the ULAR-LAH.

TEN WENT ON TO Play in the slow river..yehsa..alot on hansem lifeguards..hahahaha..ten saw golden monkey..his so incredibly super hot n cute..but abit skinny ah..im too phat for him..hahahha...ten kak was super atrekted to tis dimple guy..erm...wats his name eh..ah2..my idzhan i guess..tat the spelling...ite bukit batok gradute..20 yrs old..for once she tells me shes hapie cause the guys nvr ask fr my name frst..hahaha..hello kuzin dear..im not hot at all yesterdae..u were hotter k?hahaha...super fun.. loved the fun soo much..cik ana baked the most OISHI cheese cupcakes!!im so gona have them on my wedding dae..remember k cik ana..went to swensens after tat..met hakim big at the airport..eat liek crazy..enjoyable time there too..hahahaha..the ice cream n calamari(i dunnoe hw to spell lor)super nice lor..hahahha...went to watch airplanes..dada n kak was toking abot going to aus tis year..fr hols..OMG! they ask me along n OMG! WHERE TO GET THE MONEY MAN?wen i steal the bank i go k?hahahaha..=)

i want to be an air stewardess..tat is if they can asep big bump2 of mind...hahahaha...

all of us..the hapie BIG N SMALL "devils"..

crazy kuzin n maself=)

my two fav auntiess of all time..=)

peek-a-boo

not in the rit state if mind..hahaha..

A= aiez..tats baby's name..=)

tHe SweNseNs TRiP..=)

dear dada,
tanks for toking to me abut tat ting..i apreciate it alot..i noe u care alot bot me..im so blessed to have a second mum like u..=)ure my sunshine k?i will follow ure advice..tis is my promise to u k?be cool n keep on rawking dear aunty..

u rawk my werk..i love u alot...muax...=)

nurul=)

oh my love..=)

2007-02-15T18:36:00.000+08:00

sobx..='(

sumone called..
not the him i expected..

the other him..

the 4 yrs long him..

tat him..

he misses me..

haiz...

nurul=(

fUck LasT postINg LaH..

2007-02-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

FUCK MAN..i simply didnt start my dae of well lor..miss gan is bek after going away..got bek pur logbooks..n yeah fuck shit sia..i got downgraded..
not a bit..but a whole looooooottt more..i was like..sial ah..my heart drooped like mad..
i was in the mood to start my shift..ten tis had to happen..simply not my cup of tea at all..hell no!!!='(

n i got 9 TWOS..6 ONES..1 FOUR..AND 1 THRE..how pathetic is tat?ok i agree on some..i did wrong oso..
but hello!!!!1?
tat is sooo the ARGHHH!!!
IM SO DISCOURAGED..my heart for nursing changed so much after the posting at that ward..tat wretched ward..argh!!!my dear frnds who are same as me in the same ward..u shudbe hapie with ure grades..im hapiie for u guys..
im not happie with mind at al..
but i cant fit bek cause i dun wanna be defient n not accept it..later ill be marked down again n again..till i failll!!!
argh!!!!

now i shall write wat was put insede my book..wich i accepted with a heavy heart..=(im soory teacher..but i just got to sae this..im tankful for ure giudance..i apreciate ure teaching..ure the best!!!!

but i jst got to pour tis out k?

here goes nothing..haiz..='(

knowledge

rather weak theoretical at her level,seems to "forget" her theories(i agree but i learn frm the mistakes)
requires alot of prmpting during questioning.has to put in lots of efforts to do pre-reading.(im not the only one..im soory but i know wat im doing its just tat long explanation i cant..in my own werds i cud try)

skills

needs monitoring on aseptic technique
tends to contaminate sterile filed,unsure with steps and requires prompting with steps ->counseled(i know i did wrng..i learned but wat abot wen i improved..u nvr mentioned any of it..)
needs lots of practice in oreder tp perform the skills rit( i agree on tat one..)
lacks communication skills whne performing skills for patients..(wat was tat suppose to mean..u tink i'll jst poke a neddle into sumone witot informing them..i tok to my patients okie?)
needs to be more proactive in getting her skills assessed.(ok i was slower ten the rest..ive bucked up)

attitude

chatty.street smart( i know i can talk street smart?oh god..)
apparently behaves well only during the presence of lecturers/nurse clinician/manager(theres a saying tat goes..u got to dress to impress man..i behave like i always do..be it infront of them of my parents..)
rather passive and laid back in learning needs..(u tink i dun chge n only act as though i was interested..if i was tt defient..i wudnt have gone n asked my seniors abot theories..)
display strong body language.overconfident n aloof..(tis part broke my heart..wich part of overconfident was i?the o or the t?aloof?u mena im unfriendly?n think tat im more superior than others?god man..i love my frnds..i teart them like normal..i dun call them stupid or wat..god man..were equal people..cant u see tat?im so close to them y wud u think i dun cooperate of unfriendly to them be it my peers or my seniors???)
tend to give inappropriate reasons /excuses for action when checked.counseled by sister RUBA!( IF TIS IS ABOT THE OTHER INCIDENT..I HAD EVIDENCE ..STRONG ONES!!IVE BEEN BLACK MARKED BY HER I KNOW IT!!!SAVE MY BREATH IN THE FRST PALCE..I WUDNT HAVE COME TO U TO TELL MY SIDE OF STORY..DUN HAVE TO LISTN TO MY SIDE OF STORY..I WASTED MY TEARS..DEFENDING MY SELF)
Constant reminder on her uniform code;unkempt hair(fringe n ponytaill.)*i never keep my fringe hanging..never u can always see my forehead..n my pnoytail?its short..not in my wae wen doing my job..*short chain*the first dae wen i got to noe u were my lecturer in chrge.happned sooo long ago*big/colored ear studs..*as far as i knew i wore the blek small ones for centuries..i only wore them i nvr had other BIG ONES...*
wiling to change wen corrected but forgettable..*i nvr wore ear studs animore..no fringe at all..no short chain..i scrubbed my hand like mad to get rid of tat color..i wan to have good grades*

tats the end of evirting ..i will accept it willingly,,i have to too..i just wanna graduate..i dun wanna fit..im justa student..wat rit have i to fit with my superiors???!!

hoepfully ill get better grade fr tis posting....i wished..i pray hard like hell!!!=)

nurul=)

THe Bad n THe GooD..

2007-02-11T15:11:00.000+08:00

THe BaD...

slapped his face
do not understnd him
scolding him
finding fault
nvr give him chance to explain a mistake
dun trust him
always throwing tantrums
talk back to him
hate him
nvr knew his real self
always tinks im right n his wrong
always find fault
always gets in his way
nvr let him contatc with other gals
nvr let him send to much time with other friends
nvr eali connect with him
nvr make and effort to know him
always makes him angry n sad
always make him lose control

NRVER N ALWAYS..='(

THE gOOd..=)

i love him
i adore him
i try to understnd
i try to make him smile
i try to make him hapy
i try to help him with his probs
i try to not scold him anohow
i try to control my temper
i try to endure my obsessions of he having affairs..
i try to stop not trusting him

i tried b..i always did..

but now..

i dun tink watevr i sae is of us..u told me not to sae sorry cause my sorries are no use..u told me i was of no use..u told me to let u be alone..u told me not to understnd u..u told me to stop trying to make u feel better cause i nvr will..u told me tat my werds are of no use..u told me i nvr understood ure situation..u told me not to remind u of wat had happend..u told me i hutr u alot..u told me i made u cry..u told me i can nvr understnd u..utold me tat watevr i sae only comes from the mouth n not my heart..

u told me all..i noe..

i noe im useless..im of no use to u..evn though we have benn long..i nvr reali understood u..i noe..i noe it all..

nurul='(

ouch!!

2007-02-11T13:13:00.000+08:00

one slap was all it takes for my werl to come crushing down..

nurul=(

not good..='(

2007-02-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

todae..fot with baby..
i was so sad..
damm sad..
baby did sumting shocked me..
sorry baby..
i cudnt control it..

i did one big mistake..i
i slapped baby's face..
hard..
fuck!!
cause he did sumting that pierced my heart..
tats the only wae i cud wake him up..

im so sorry syg...
baby was sked wen i said i wanted to die..
n leave him..
haiyoo...

now baby's hand sweeling..
syg plese lah..
dun do tat again can?

i love u sweetheart..
my angel..

nurul=)

holla people..

2007-02-04T11:24:00.000+08:00

hola2 people..been long since last i blogged..beenn super bz man..
finally finished attchement at ward 36..hectic week..werking on sats are not that fun aniways..hahahaha...alot happened between me n baby to..
our quarells has become more violent now..so violent that i cnt control my hand n he cant control his hand too..that was scary wat happened that dae baby..i was shaken by wat u did..god man wat got into u.?='(

werking with farhana n wana n lihui was fun..lots of fun..had a hell of a time advertising my mum's shop in the ward..hahaha..kak rukiah n kak za was all asking bot my mum n any discounts if they go to my mum's shop..hahahha..i was saying"hell yeah babe"..hahahaha...
mum thank me for that lot of customers mum...=)

small baby(my brother)..was sick fr a whole week i guess...his real parents soo argh..i dun noe wat to saw..ure only son already has degress of 412 n yet u didnt bring him to the doc..insted just gave him meds n oput him to sleep..god man wheres the humanity..wat happens if he had fits..?think people..think!!widen up ure thoughts..i mean if it was my first shild i would be scared n brot him to the hosp immediately man...haiz..aniwaes cant wait to get married.. 3 years time baby hoepfully k?

baby n me talked about marriage alot lately..hantaran $8000..hahaha..god we got so seroius..tink im ready to become a wife..just be more understnding n stat trusting him u bitch nurul...
hahahha..
8 main dulangs..how the bike escorts formation are gonna be all...daytona racing ill be first of cos..since my baby is the head's bro..hahah...the deco of cars.. n etc..whos gona be there.wat colors of costumes n etc...hahahah...im so scared suddenly...

i pity kuzin..she told me alot abot frog..that stupid frog..u dun noe wat ure missing on frog..u ugly frog i guess?hahaha..damm my kuzin gonana kill me for my foul mouth again..dun woriie im gona ask daddy to bully frog k?

fridae went bek to skoll for sim training..so funny for 2 scenes of emergency i had to be the wife who becomes histeria wen the husbnd collaps..hahah..funnie lah man...
ten the last one i dun evn noe man..i had to do cpr..n i forgot how to fix that bloody ventilaltor..wakau man..seriously lor nrul..met amalina..i miss her soo much..shes as cute n prety as ever we shud set a date to bitch babe...=)

prom is soon..in march i guess..im soo touched cik da called n ask how i was doing n if i had gotten ready fr the prom..i said no money to buy lor..so she asked me to pick one n tell her..she'll buy the dress for me?
how sweet was that ...god...for u poeple to noe..cik da is my 2nd mother..shes my evrything too besides my lovely mother..shes understnds me n my kuzin alot..n uncle iq too..pleasure to have bothe of u here with me..

life has benn exciting for me this week..
just take a step at a time..
still loving baby..

n hapie 1 yr 4 mths to us syg...
i made a powrpoint slide for him taht moved him to tears..hahaha..
did get that coming rit syg?
=)

my small baby was sick so porr.grown so thin now..=(

wana,fana n me..at scholl..

wana n me in the toilet..we miss that toilet..

i ate toast..baby forced me to eat..hahaha=)

i love u sweetheart..

ps! to my kuzin dun worry evn if i get married before u do..u will find that true love one day k?u will i'll pray for that..allah will help u syg..i love u kuzin..=)

nurul=)

tHiS lOVe WAS MeaNt To Be..

2007-01-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

To YoU mY bAbY..

Loving is the best thing I could ever do to myself
I just can’t find any words on
the planet to express the love I have for you
but there is one thing I know...
I’m in love with you.
The love I have for you makes me forget that I’m young and poor.
It makes me face the challenges of life
with a positive manner and enthusiastic attitude.
whenever I wake up in the morning I just look for your photo.
I can feel and hear it saying, "good morning, it's a new day."
Full of good hope and a fair atmosphere,
My love for you is enormous.
I’m in love with you.
Whoever gave you the name sweetness
Had a feeling that one day you will grow up
And transform my sour life to be sweet as it is today.
Sweet like fresh honey that honeybees have produced, just for me.
Whenever I eat it, my face is full of smiles and my heart rejoices.
I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with your personality.
Loving ones personality Is loving ones character.
Loving and accepting ones attitude...
That involves Self control,
Self respect,
And
a sound mind.
I’m in love with you.

i THaNk GOd FoR thIs ThINgS...=)

Your love holds my heart,
Your eyes see my soul.
I thank God for these things,
And you who makes me whole.
Your dreams hold my thoughts,
Your plans tell the future.
I thank God for these things,
And you my scars do cure.
Your arms hold my life,
Your heart hears my song.
I thank God for these things,
And you to sing along.
Your thoughts know my passions,
Your faith believes my dreams.
I thank God for these things,
And you my all and everything.

nurul=)

tHIs loVe Is MeaNt To Be...=)

2007-01-28T13:15:00.000+08:00

mY LoVe...

mY sUNsHinE..

My SuGaR N sPiCe...

To mY bABy...TiS Is FoR u..=)

Forever and always, I've loved you that long
What was once just a dream has come true.
For, you've lived in my dreams and are now in my heart.
I've waited a lifetime for you.
Each one of us has a true love, so I'm told
One special person who makes us complete.
From the moment I met you, I knew it was true
You are the man of my dreams, my soulmate.
Enduring and endless, our love will remain
Our hearts and our souls intertwined.
Always together, we'll walk hand in hand
I'll be yours and you'll always be mine

Ill pRoMiSE U tHiss...i SweAr

In the morning, when the sun is just begining to peek through
and waking me from my blissful sleep
I wake with feelings of love in my heart
Because my thoughts are of only you
When that one certain song is playing on the radio
I always find myself singing along
And at that moment there is only peace in my mind
Because my thoughts are of only you
When I see that cute elderly couple
Sitting in the park, under the trees
I can't help but stare in awe
And my thoughts are of only you
And when the sun is setting deep in the twilight sky
And I have those last few thoughts of the day
In those last few moments before I rest my dream-filled eyes
My thoughts seem to be of only you!

nurul=)

sorry to AlL=)

2007-01-22T18:44:00.000+08:00

hey people...soo soory eh..its been awhile since i updated my blog eh?gosh man!!been super bz with alot of things..well here i am bek..finally able to find time to update it..=)

MONDAY:the first dae of attachment..super slack..cudnt get out of bed..dragged my self out of bed..git ready..waiting for the morning bus is soo not my type..already its dark..stupid bus is late..well too lazy to walk to the intechnge=)..hehehe..well nothing much happned on tis dae..werk was not bad..misssed my frnds..sister of the ward talked as much as she owaes do..damm hungry..baby..n andrew darling fetched me home.so sweet..=)

before werk..nice rit?

tis is me aFteR WErK..sO mESsY LiAo..

TUESDAY:erm..stARts THe ASSesSINg by the teacher thing..did dressing for a wound..but...hahahha..alot of wrng lor..miss gan talked to me..ask me improve my skills...so paise man..but shes good..she teaches us stuff tat are useful to us..now i have to do dressing evry murning on shift..hahaha...takpe..frnds are good..no fits wit baby..werked afternoon shift..so ngantok man mlm..hahaha..staffs was nice esp..kak za..the ssn..cool..wae to go..=)

WEDNESDAY: wen to werk in the murning initially afternoon but hua mei chnged with me cause she had music lessons..god man..she answered my prayer..i was thinking wat to tell teacher cause todae..we had telematch at skooll..baby fetched me after werk..we headed to skool..reached there..saw wacko nadia..(pretty nita sis)..smiled n laughed about how nita was hospitalised caused she cannot berak..hahaha...
ten i saw..tat haizad..mr.bowling..so cute smiling at me..
its actual name is rohaizal..charming..but younger..ahs got second place.. cool huh?

tIs CUtE aNgEL WAs All POsINg WEn i Tok Her pIc..

tiS iS mR.bOWlINg..He CAllED mE mRS.bOwLinG cAUsE hE fRGoT mY nAmE=)

bAbY n Me AfTerMaTH oF thE mAtCh..

THUSDAY NOTHING MUCH HAPPNED..

FRIDAY:toda very sad lor..sister ruba scolded me 5 timed..at frst mis gan called me to tok to me cause they was a complain about me..fuck sia..after 2 years of good record..suddenly got tis shit..i was soo sad..frst stated anbot the pain score..ten she find fault over things im not doing..through out she only find fault with me..fuck sia..hell to dae...

SATURDAY:wen out with kuziien other gfs..had a hell of a time at the swensens,, at toa payoh..powerlah u people..hahah..we conquered tat place man..wore party hats..the slideshow was touching..all was dressed upp..love them..n too wani..u old liao..
hahahha..hapie bdae....

lOOkiNg HOt fR THe PaRty PeOplE=)

oN thE waE in THe Car=)

Me in THe pArTY HaT!!yEAh..

3 GoRGeOuSnEsS..My SweEt GfS..kUZZiE n NItA..

we hAD NoThiNg BettA tO dO..seRiOusLy..

At thE eNd Of THe Dae..tiS iS hW i LOOK=)

not forgetting sunday!!i had a blast time with baby!!i love u swetheart..so muchh..muax22=)

nurul=)

FlASh BeK..

2007-01-13T12:36:00.000+08:00

JUST FELT LIKE PUTTING THIS UP..this was wen i was still abit thinner ten now..n still new with bf..during my bdae..
still loving baby after 1 yr 3 mths..

me n my baby..=)

taT sWWet pIcH oF SmILe AlWAyS..=)

WE'LL bE toGetHer fr as loNg AS WE WAn BabY..I PrOMiSE=)

i JUst loVe U bAbY..+)

TaT FRiDaE..

2007-01-13T11:25:00.000+08:00

FRIDAE WAS FUN..
but the murning wasnt fun k?was getting ready to meet bf n andrew n azhar..at 730..ten at 720 azhar called..wen i looked at the idd caller..its was still bf's home number..i was like"wat the fuck man"they havent come out frm the home?bf stys in yishun..n meeting me in 10 mins time..i was soo angry..but let the matter rest cause if i were to get angry tat baby of mind..will not like it...hehehe..he abit angin kiosk-kiosk..=)

arrived at skoll..walked in to be greeted by mr. boncet..this teacher at skoll.who catches people who doesnt wear theyre lanyards..hahaha..well i didnt wear..but i escaped..baby name was jotted dwn..hahaha..poor u..chnged into our attire..n walke to baby locker..saw the A class i looked after..was looking frantically for MR.haizad..ten suddenly..he caught me..he tapped me i turned around.."looking for sumone?"he said..hahah.. i was like "erm..nope.."ten i waved him goodbye he smiled at me..the smile was melting..hahaha...

had amazing race with the new beauty thrapist people(ALL GIRLS!!).CAN U IMAGINE THE TORTURE..?my bf n frnds of boys were bz looking here n there..he put me aside for a moment..hahaha..so fed up..hahaha..ten after the end of the cheering all..wen ere were about to go up to setle down..one group actually came up to me n ask..

the girl:"erm..nurul budak yang laki2 tu sape eh?"
me:"yang mane eh?"
the girl:"yang ade taik lalat kat pipi tu"
i was freaking out lor..my heart thumbed soo hard..
me:"yang itu eh?yang pakai kasot brown eh?kenape?"
the girl:"name die sape?"
me:"faris.."
n the girl asked me baby's age..from wat course..all the crap lah..i answered willingly..but sweat to god inside my heart i was saying.."damm u woman tat's my bf u wanna get to noe.."
hahaha..
then she asked me sumting..tat wen i ans she was damm paise..
the girl:"die attched tak?"
me:"yesh he is.."
the girl:"alah..dng sape eh?"
me:"sayelah gf die kalau nak tahu.."
the girl:"eh..sorry eh..sorry2..i dunnoe.."

the girl n her gang was so paise they just smile n walked away..hahahaha..

before going home it was raining badly..sat dwn with around 10 of us..sit n chat n laugh n took pics..reached home..n andrew on the comp to watch porn..while i slept with baby on the bed..too sleepy man..hahahaha....

ps:still missing those laughters of my bitches!!=)

mE n sYGkU liNA=)

IzzAt SWeeTiE n Me=)

nurul=)

bEEn thinKinG LAtelY..

2007-01-11T19:07:00.000+08:00

wel..
ive benn thinking lately..i miss my bitches alot..ana.amoi..sara..n othe rest..to much of my drugs to mention lor..
haiz..well wen can we met up eh?i reali miss u guy alot lor..ana sae evn if atchment we can still chill to the bebey..

o vishnu~
hahahaha..
boyfrnd just went bek just nw..murning came to waoke me up ..n i fucking woke up at 12..wat the hell was tat..got into sum misunderstnding..i slam the bloody door shut..
ten wen i opened it,,babay was there..staring at me..takot giler man..ten he puched my bloody door..fucking shit..tat freaked me out alot lor..tat hurt his knuckles..they were swollen..n tat hurt my heart..*ouch*
i nagged at him..he just stoood there n smiled wen i nagged..he saes i look like a nenek ewn i nag wit my bunned up hair n mak cik bedah specs..tanks alot eh b..hahaha.. but i love u alot sweetheart..

i went around cleaning the house..went to bath..ten washed the toilet..n gueesed wat happned next?
damm ti man..its gona end my carrer as a nurse..i fell on my bek..my injured spine was in pain man..god man i tell u..i quikly callled baby..
arrived in no time..to urot my bek..
its feels much betta now darling..tanks alot...much apreciated..

a few more daes till attchemnt stats..haiyo..so lazy u noe..
haiz..
i have to werk till sat cause i have to repay bek my last time mcs..wen i was hospitalised fr 2 weeks due to slip disk..damm it man.. tortures..hahahaha..

k lah tmrw gt BL OI again..
cant wait..can see mr.haizad again..hahaha..
nolah main2 jek..

my SWeeT kOkoDilE bAbY..aPiZ..

nurul=)

fuyoo...

2007-01-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

i had the most wunderful dae ever..todae n yesterdae...
yesterdae was the frst dae of oreantation fr the new freshies..
had to be in the function hall by 8 but i was still in the canteen till 830 like tat cause had a tiff wit bf as usual..
owas lah we all..
nothing betta to do..
but i still loove u k?
hahahaha...

then wen i arrived n got into the room...
i was greeted by a smile from tis new student..
a hansem guy indeed..
n his name is haizad...i call him MR.BOWling..
cause he loves tat..
hahaha..
damm cute lor..

saw mdm phua..hugged her n told her my results..
she was happie for me..
wen around disturbing my juniors doing their job..poor them..
*wicked smile*

then wen on to play 'SHOE FACTORY'
we have to throw our rit shoe into a ring then
on the count of 3 grab someone's elses shoe..
n guees wat..
tat haizad took my shoe...

hahaha..
wen i saw it i was like "yesha...die dpt kasot aku.."
hahaha...
gatal man...

through out the dae i had lots of fun..

todae was no exception to..
with izzat gay n andrew asshole to briten my dae up..
hahaha..
theyre wunderfool people..i just love them..

baby was in super good mood todae..
i enjoyed ..
some highlighted event of todae..

here goes nothing... enjoy..
hahahaha=)

baby acting strong carrying andrew darling..

baby carried me..wah so strong man.. =)

lina was so paise after andrew carried her..=)

i dunnoe wat they trying to do..andrew asshole..izzat gay..baby...

me,blur bird,mak cik kepo(lina),izzat hansem(gay)hahaha..=)

tats all..so much fr the fun... BL OI!!!

nurul=)

im soo sad...='(

2007-01-07T14:51:00.000+08:00

im so sad..yesterdae..went to hosp cause my frnd had an acc..last min at nit..around 845 i went..i called baby but cudnt get through..so i was rushing left a msg to sister..if he was to call said tat i went to hosp..
went i got bek i called him strait..he wasnt home..so i waited..
he caled..but was feeling pissed off n angry...i was soo sad..baby,i didnt mean for aniting to happen ..im soo soryy man..seriuosly..
we didnt talked..i men he did ah..but i just kept quiet..he continued talking sarcastically..i didnt wan to quarell so i just kept quiet..
i reali diint noe wat to sae..
for watevr reasons ure angry about i dunnoe..
urenot telling me..
haiz...

but..the afternoon i enjoyed..
i got my crazie kuzin ready fr a party..
like going prom like tat..
prety nita painted her nails..while i did her make up n hair..

soo pretyy ..
hahaha...

i miss my baby..
haiz...

my baby=)
i just love him..

nurul=)

it's raining outside..

2007-01-04T18:03:00.001+08:00

its raining outside now..gosh..so cold..
just now after soo long i wnt to scholl for the MEGA bl meeting..all was there.. i mean not all ah
some were some were not..god i misshh those people..

n saw alot of new students buying uniforms..i didnt get the real work job man..=(
or not i wud have made extra cash seh..

hahaha..
get bek to the new students..
alot of matrips man..
wakakaka..
soo manie of them..i mean it man..
ten walk like want to fight with us..
wat the helll..

eh korang baru nak msok skoll..
i FINISHED liao...=)

today the start of my dae wasnt tat good ..
cause i quarreled with bf..
god man he was being abit over..

k lah me too..
i noe u dun like me to call a male frnd same like i dun like u to call a female frnd..

his my besfrnd my dear..
sooo sorry my dear..
i onie called not even 5 mins seh..
wished him lucks for his tp..

good luck yeah sarhan..

todae crazie kuzin went out to ikea with RAOF!
I wunder how it went..

hahaha...

k lah be beks soon i guess..
i miss camp~~

nurul=)

At lAsT

2007-01-03T17:34:00.000+08:00

aT lAsT pEoPLe..

well hello there..
hahaha..
at last people..
i finally have my very own blog after the old one tat i deleted..

god tat one was a disaster after mom read it..

gosh!!
hahaha..

well to amoi, ana, sara,n kak ella..

here goes..dedicated to u guys k?

i miss my girlfrnds(le hoochies,sara n gang n of cos my own gang)
i miss baby(whos own the wae here..)
ermm who else eh i miss..
dunnoe lah..

well crazie kuzin helped me through this process of setting up my blog..
its as though im getting married like tat..

tanks to u..i have a nice blog now ..=)i owe u one...=)

so bored at homelah..azhar n smal sister playing ps2...
im on her bed updating this..

haiz...
mum n dad started werk..
i no more scholling..
btw!got my results..

i got A!!!=))
OH MY GOD..
TATS so historical man..
hahaha..

tats about it..
have a nice day people..

nurul=)